how to allow yourself to rest

waiting without worrying. and faith, defiance and self love.

so anyways.

i was going to write something about wanting your wants, and wanting what other people have this week, but! i’m in a holding pattern these days. things will change soon, but for now i have to wait. so that post will have to wait.

of course i could get anxious.

oh, how tempting it is to fall into thinking thoughts.

there was a time when i could not wait, i could not avoid the frightening ideas and the tightening in my chest. yes, ‘spiral’ is a good word for it.

…change, no matter how much for the better, still feels cold and lonely at first—as if we were out there on the edge of the universe with the wind whistling past our ears—because it doesn't feel like home. Old patterns, no matter how negative and painful they may be, have an incredible magnetic power--because they do feel like home.

from Revolution from Within, by Gloria Steinem.

there was a time when worry felt like home to me, but maybe i am not that girl anymore.

i’ve been putting faith into practice. which means i’m doing both: worry and faith.

i am disappointed to report that faith feels a lot better.