proud of you.
when was the last time you truly allowed yourself to be
this is something like a poem that is very rough. it is likely i will continue to work on it, but as a subscriber you’re seeing it in it’s first draft state.
when was the last time you truly allowed yourself to be proud of you?
in who you are right now, with all of the things you’re working towards. with all of the things you want to change or you’ve given up trying to change.
you found a way through and you continue to look.
proud of you now.
you forgot and then remembered and forgot again and then remembered and then forgot and remembered (and got angry that you forgot, which led you to forget) and then remembered again and had a little compassion for your brain and its new grooves.
a light switch turning off then on then light helps you to remember a while longer and then you forgot but this time you knew where the switch was and you remembered again.
at one point oscillate was the word, then pendulum the metaphor. then it became a journey. wolves you feed. a garden you tend to. oscillate, venture and nurture.
proud of you here.
where things look the same, but they sure don’t feel that way. sometimes your chest feels tight, anxiety and allergies and asthma passing a baton and it feels like there’s no time to remember so yes the switch is there but.
it’s dark around but you kept your eyes open. kept looking and searching until you learned to see in new ways.
stayed open to what you found even though it didn’t seem to fit in with the answers you wanted.
the next time you remember it feels different. you know this routine now and you have new tools. maybe a microfibre cloth and some dish soap in water to wipe the dust off that lamp.
turned the world inside out with divine laws as your test subjects.
learned big new terms like complex ptsd and got swallowed by them and then learned to sing.
let the vibrations of your voice hit the edges of walls built on sand, find the big cracks. those walls crumble on their own even when you can’t see it.
you can move around in the world and play forgetful when you need to. · take two: you can forget when remembering is too confusing. · take three: you remember at a pace buoyed by grace.
proud of you.
bits & pieces.
first thing is first, my friend Sarita is offering birth chart readings at 50% off for a limited time over at: bio.site/plutonianaquarius! If you’re thinking of getting a reading, do it with Sarita. She’s been studying astrology for over 10 years and it’s obvious. IMO, a reading makes an ideal birthday or other special occasion gift. Why? Bc 1: your recipient doesn’t have to spend more money keeping it up, 2: it’s not a thing that will end up in a landfill, and c: it could help them in ways you’ll never know. like for me, Sarita’s reading serves as a reminder of what it looks like when i’m ✨connected✨. and lately i’ve needed reminders. it’s one of the best things i’ve gifted myself.
This basically free DIY masters in creative writing? Yes, I’m doing it!
This art by @BottlingSunshine on Twitter.
Where’s Girl Tracy?
I found someone to design the physical book! We talked about what the cover could look like and i am super excited to have a little fun with it. 👩🏾🦰 Once the book is designed, we’re off to the printer. The folks at Asquith press let me know I’m on the waitlist, and Girl Tracy will be up around June, which for now, is perfect timing.