SUPPORT

payoffs of the settler state · the lover girl to avoidant pipeline · strategies for supporting yourself · strategies for receiving support

hi! nothing in this post or series is meant to replace the advice and guidance of trained professionals. this is intense work. often the mundane has to be worked alongside the magical. please consider working with a therapist if you aren’t already. the author of this content is not a licensed medical or mental health professional. subscribing to this blog does not constitute a therapeutic relationship.

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“The ‘payoff’ for living inside this system was getting to outsource the true cost of running it: The cost to the more-than-human world, the child labour that made all the devices, the ludicrous fake desert royals propped up to keep the gasoline flowing at prices low enough to be affordable to literally anyone in the west.” says GORDON in an essay published over at Rune Soup. GORDON continues to say:

You did not have to see these costs. You got to go to school with the expectation it would turn into a job you only hated with most of your soul, rather than all of it. A job that would allow you to eventually afford housing, buy more slave-made devices and take an annual holiday. None of these promises ever come back.

one of the promises of this system that didn’t come back to me was that i could survive without other people. i could get a job that paid enough so i could afford to live by myself, buy food, buy furniture, buy assistance to move that furniture around and put it together, buy support in the form of readers and therapists* and healers. and of course, yes, hello! it takes other people to build the home, make sure the food gets to the grocery store, facilitate making and moving the furniture, offer the healing and therapy and reading, but with money i don’t have to acknowledge that. i pay for what i want and i get it. i can pay to ignore the interdependence.

interdependence is scary because, from the looks of things, people make a blankity mess. other people, ofc, not me (do i have to put an /s here? because i hope you can pick up that i am being /s). other people are the whole reason i left ‘lover girl’ and arrived here at ‘avoidant’. other people are not interested in protecting children or women or the planet, and can actually at times, desire to cause harm to children and women, and i don’t care to explain what this looks like for a black woman. i said, ‘better to not deal with all that! can’t tell who is trustworthy. avoid them all.’ and a full-time job allowed me the illusion of not needing to know who was safe.

this post is for those of us who will find support by alchemizing the shame, pain, and grief. where it all lands for me is the question of desire. i do not have to do anything. none of us have to. i know i do not have to deal with any of this. i know i have choice. i hope you understand what i mean here. i could get on a plane or make an appointment. being in touch with desire is essential.

✨💎⭐️🔥💁🏾‍♀️🦄 WHAT DO YOU WANT??

you might find the boundaries you need to maintain are not just with coworkers, it’s also with the people you like, the people who are closer to you in your circle, people you have as friends or you would like to have as friends. you’ll know the boundaries you need to erect and break down based on what you want.

in this post i’m writing about strategies for finding support. what i write here might be helpful if you are terrified by the prospect of expanding your capacity to connect with other people or find community, or if the idea of alchemizing the pain you carry sounds weird. it might be helpful if you are curious about methods to expand capacity to find, give, and receive support. these methods include non-physical support such as the kind you can receive in nature, from spirit guides and angels. we start with the kind of support you can give yourself. i’ll discuss some of the pitfalls i’ve encountered from my own experience. i think it’s worth it to call out here we are in eclipse season; so this video by Jessica Lanyadoo might be helpful to consider at this time.

mind you: we are going through this together. we are finding each other.

*even if you have a strong community and support system, seeing a therapist regularly is important.

here’s the summary again:

PROTECTION. corporations protect themselves, you need to protect yourself. here we’re talking about _secrecy_, boundaries, and charming an item.

CLEANSING. any corporate culture lack scarcity mindset shit must be cleansed out of your thinking. you cannot cleanse without protection and you cannot protect without cleansing, so these first two posts go together.

GROUNDING. as someone diagnosed with PTSD from childhood trauma, this one required the help of a therapist because it is and was painful.

👉🏾 SUPPORT. grounding pt 2. loneliness, isolation, when it feels like you have no one.

REBUKE IT. protection and cleansing pt 2. how to create and keep a spirit of rebuke when you need it

PRAYER. protection and cleansing pt 3. corporate culture as constant, communal prayer.

RESOURCES

Video: 604: Horoscope - Mercury Retrograde + Watch Out for Uranus by Jessica Lanyadoo

Book: Finding Soul on the Path to Orisa: A West African Spiritual Tradition by Tobe Melora Correal

Book: No Boundary: Eastern and Western Approaches to Personal Growth by Ken Wilbur

Book: Ancestor Paths: Honoring our Ancestors and Guardian Spirits Through Prayers, Rituals & Offerings by ALADOKUN

Book: Open Your Mind to Receive by Catherine Ponder

Course: Basic Angel Magic by Ariel Gatoga (free)

Video: Build Your Magickal Will by Ariel Gatoga

Video: How to call in your spirit team and why it works from a neuroscience perspective by @latarotina

Video: How To Invoke The Magical Power Of Joy by Ariel Gatoga

Essay: Joy Is A Strategy by Jamila Bradley

Joy Is a Strategy: The White Leftist Struggle with Spirit